Updated: Aug 5
When we feel the impact of judgements that have been placed on us they can show up in many different places. These judgements could have come from the environment where they were hurt, or they perceived life as unfair. These judgements may have a had a parent that played favorites or were inconsistent in how they applied rules and showed attention, where you felt left out of activities or decisions. Now, you may feel the injustice when they see others doing something they feel is wrong.
During the start of the pandemic the judgmental impact seemed to breathe fire over the entire world. It caused people to quickly judge others for their actions (wearing a mask or not wearing a mask).
Sometimes those stuck in this space of being judgmental creates a reaction of being condescending, criticizing, moralizing, overcorrecting people, or telling others what they should or should not think, say or do.
If you find yourself or know others in this mode please share or use these tips:
1. Find the upside: Instead of focusing on the negatives, of judging from a wrong motive or intent where it can be harmful get in control by clarifying your values and your goals. When you are overwhelmed with thoughts that only you can protect those who are victims and right the wrongs, notice—think through the narrative, think through the information by collecting the data. Investigate if your thought is true or perceived. Weigh the pros and cons. Note that not everyone will agree with your view but, that doesn’t mean that you are wrong or have to argue your point. Being able to discuss your view point calmly and logically helps you see other perspectives. Agree to disagree without being filled with rage or hate.
2. Ask important questions when you feel judgmental: Is the problem current, or are you trying to right a wrong from the past? Do you have all the facts, or are you making assumptions about others without knowing that they are true?
3. Affirmations to say or meditate on every day: I trade judgment for understanding. Instead of wanting to be right, think about wanting to understand. I release judgment so I can feel free. I treat people in pain with compassion, not more pain. I am a role model for what I want to see in the world. I add value to people who value people.
4. Stop the Automatic Negatives Thoughts. There are so many negative thoughts that come at us each day we may start believing them. Instead learn how to control your thoughts and your emotions. They are yours to have, choose how you will live with them without giving your control away.
For more information contact Brenda Saxe Life Coach